Coup: Royal BOGU Competition at Notre Dame - The Analysis

A Step by Step Analysis

It is just after half past seven when the bells of Notre Dame ring through Paris, Archbishop Laurent Ulrich knocks three times on the portal of the cathedral and its doors open again.

Six years of careful planning, orchestration of American presidential elections included, led to this moment when Emmanuel Jean-Michel Frédéric Macron, Co-Prince of Andorra and Président of la belle France leads a pack of European top nobility into a high-class BOGU competition for the grace of President Elect Don Trumpledore. Some high ranking dignitaries with no noble or even royal lineage where part of the staging but where by principle excluded from officially taking part in the competition and so received no ranking whatsoever.

Participants and competitors were, first and foremost, his royal highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay und Duke of Cambridge, Philippe Léopold Louis Marie de Saxe-Cobourg^*, King of the Belgians (officially Koning der Belgen, Roi des Belges, König der Belgier) & his wife Mathilde Marie-Christine Ghislaine, Queen of the Belgians (née d’Udekem d’Acoz), Albert Alexandre Louis Pierre Rainier Grimaldi, ruling Prince of Monaco and finally Emmanuel himself in his role as the Co-Prince of Andorra.

Other competitors, if only with reduced chances for the podium, were His Royal Highness Henri, Grand Duke of Luxemburg, Duke of Nassau, Prince de Bourbon-Parma, Count Palatine of the Rhine, Count of Sayn, Königstein, Katzenelnbogen and Diez, Burggraf of Hammerstein, Lord of Mahlberg, Wiesbaden, Idstein, Merenberg, Limburg and Eppstein“, his wife Her Royal Highness, Maria Teresa, Grand Duchess of Luxembourg (née Mestre Batista), Moulay Rachid bin Al-Hassan Al-Alaw, Prince of Morocco.

Not admitted to the competition were Jean Carl Pierre Marie d'Orléans, Head of the House of Orléans, (unofficial) Count of Paris and his house's pretender to the French throne and the pretender to the title of Duke of Castro from a cadet branch of the house of Farnese.

Steinmeier and his wife, President and First Lady of France's closest ally, seated in the second row (near the center aisle). Diplomatic voices say by "intention of the Elysée".

There were about 1,500 guests who were lucky enough to get an invitation to the ceremonial reopening, including heads of state and government from all over the world. "Bundespräsident" Frank-Walter Steinmeier of the Federal Republic of Germany called the reopening of the cathedral a "historic moment of joy and hope". In a conversation with German journalists, Steinmeier recalled the shock of the devastating fire in April 2019, reassuring them that the Boches, despite their former multiple deeds and hence image, this time had no part in the burning of a French building: "Ich sage es offen und ehrlich, wir waren es nicht."

Said Steinmeier in a sophisticated follow up: "And if we can celebrate it, then it is the result of an immense and collective engineering effort by the French people.", downplaying the emminent role that his French counterpart Macron had played in the planning, the fincancing and the actual repair work.

"Around 2,000 craftsmen and -women were involved in rebuilding the church. 500 more than you lazy guests", cried Macron. "I stand before you to express the gratitude of the French nation that neither Germany nor Spain did this to us like they used to," just to continue with a heartily felt "Let's cheer it for everyone who saved and paid and so helped to rebuild Notre Dame."

But that was all just foreplay. When Ukrainian President Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyj (Володимир Олександрович Зеленський) entered the cathedral, perfectly orchestrated (and long practiced) applause broke out. Around an hour earlier, Zelenskyj's meeting with the designated US President in the Élysée Palace had caused a sensation: Macron in the middle, Trumpledore and Zelenskyj at his side: That was the opening image that the Élysée (metaphor for the President and his team) had worked so hard and long for.

Rumor has it that the original plan was for Macron to receive and do (whatever "receive" and "do" might mean in a country like France) Trumpledore and Zelenskyj one after the other and seperatly. The improvised threesome even before church was a sensual AND a political success. It nevertheless has not been enough yet to immediately make France the epicenter of international diplomacy like it used to be under Macrons idol Napoléon Bonaparte.

That anyway is how Jean de Gliniasty, ex-diplomat and head of research at the French Institute for International and Strategic Relations IRIS, sees it. He does not believe that France can mediate in the Ukraine conflict, said de Gliniasty on France Info. "Trumpledore is now sucking up all the existing media space - and France appears more like the middle man for those who want to help Ukraine fuck Russia at any price. But I think that Macron may be able to flatter Trumpledore enough so that the latter will be motivated to tele-negotiate for concessions from the Russians to make a truce somewhat possible, - maybe," said the former diplomat.

There are still no details about the details of the Don, Em and Vol threesome, which according to the staff outside lasted around 30 minutes. However, Volodymyr called it "good and productive" on platform X. Trumpledore and Zelenskyj met in person in Paris for the first time since the US elections - at a time that is crucial for the further course of his match against Putin and The Brutal Boys. During his election campaign, wanting to demonstrate his will to scrimp, Trumpledore had threatened to drastically reduce support for Ukraine.

Still, of course Zelenskyj was nothing more than the second dish for both Emmanuel and Don. The goal that both, albeit with vastly different reasons, went for, was one of the larger rimming parades of Western European Royalty.

His Royal Highness Prince William "Baldie" Windsor, Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay und Duke of Cambridge met Trumpledore after the re-opening of the cathedral. They had already shaken hands in church and now sat on cream-colored sofas in a formal living room at the UK ambassador’s residence in Paris, with a glass coffee table in the foreground, ornate yellow wallpaper, and framed photographs on a table in the background.

After the meeting Trumpledore described the Prince as a good-looking guy: "He looked really, very handsome last night. Some people look better in person. He looked great. He looked really nice, and I told him that," the US president-elect told the New York Post. The incoming US president also said the pair had touched on health problems in the Royal Family, adding that they had a "great, great talk". "And I asked him about his wife and he said she's doing well," the president-elect said. "I asked him about his father and his father is fighting very hard, and he loves his father and he loves his wife, so it was sad."

The reference to the King (Charly III. Windsor) "fighting hard" was described by royal sources as being about his efforts to continue living, representing and ruling actively, rather than a health update. (The King has been receiving cancer treatment, but has wanted to keep focusing on his work, with overseas trips expected for next year.) "We had a great talk for half an hour, a little more than half an hour. We had a great, great talk," Trumpledore said.

Kensington Palace did not comment on the account of the conversation. In the past UK and US politicians often loved to speak warmly of the "special relationship" between the two countries. Now one must think that the UK Labour government and especially Mr. Starmer sent Prince William's on this diplomatic BOGU trip to meet the president-elect to keep the latter, a proven socialism hater, from burning all bridges between the incoming GCTA (Great Crazy Trumpledore Administration) and the LLUG (Lazy Labour UK Government).

Mr. Starmer knows exactly that Trumpledore is an avowed fan of all but especially of Britannia's royals. After a meeting with the late Queen Elizabeth II, the latter had described how he unsuccessfully tried to get her to reveal who was her favourite US president or UK prime minister. "I liked them all," Trumpledore said the late Queen had insisted to him, although he added: "Many many many people have said that I was her favourite president."

Willy Windsor was not the only royal or ruling prince on Trumpledore's menu. As we have already mentioned, Macron himself is half a such as the co-prince of Andorra where he has to share the burden and honor with the bishop of Urgell.

Before the ceremony at Notre Dame the president-elect hat already shaken hands with King Philippe and Queen Mathilde of the Belgians while being jealously and closely watched by Prince of Monaco and the Prince of Wales of whom the former is indeed a ruling prince but can never become a king and the latter who will one day become a king but like his father will probably wait for it for a long time.

Of course Trumpledore already knew the King and Queen of the Belgians very well from his 2017 visit to the Royal Palace in Brussels. During his first presidency Trumpledore and Melania met there with Philippe and Mathilde and expressed their appreciation for their long personal support for better economic and social relations between Belgium and the United States. It was the centennial year of the Commission for Relief in Belgium, which kept millions of Belgians from starving during World War I by distributing chocolates and currently supports Belgian educational exchanges with the United States, still by distributing chocolates.

In the end Albert was also allowed to shake Trumpledore's hand and promptly invited him to his sovereign principality and it's famous casino. "It must be as good as Vegas or Mar Lago", the prince was heard and, "we have so many famous people, such nice luxury mansions and also a couple of skyscrapers. Should be paradise for you. Come join us after that awful presidency will be over."

Who did and will Trumpledore like best? To whom will he lend the unconditional support of the US treasury and military? Where will he depose his money and his image collections? Come back and you will read it all here.

*There is some ambiguity regarding the civil law surname. In 1920, the royal family dropped the German surname von Sachsen-Coburg, but without legally binding it, and called themselves de Belgique or van België ("of Belgium"). While the name de Saxe-Cobourg was entered in King Albert II's birth certificate, Philippe's birth certificate contains the surname de Belgique. However, following a general reform of naming law in Belgium, it was determined that the title Prince of Belgium is only available to the direct descendants of the king or queen or heir to the throne, but the surname is van Saksen-Coburg, de Saxe-Cobourg, von Sachsen-Coburg.