Black Day For President Elect

NYSCJ (New York Supreme Court Justice) Juan Manuel Merchan has decided that President Elect Don Trumpledore in all his bliss and glory should have to live through at least one or two black days before X-mas Eve will lay peace and quiet on the greatest country in God's world.

Merchan did so by ruling that Mr. Trumpledore does not enjoy all-encompassing presidential immunity. Judge Juan Merchan ruled that the felony conviction in the New York hush money case that Mr. Trumpledore received last spring was right and therefore should not be tossed out because of the recent US Supreme Court’s ruling on presidential immunity.

Juan Manuel Merchan, Colombian-born acting justice of the New York State Supreme Court in New York County

Merchan’s decision rejected one of several grand avenues that Trumpledore’s lawyers have chosen to try to dismiss guilty verdict on 34 counts of falsifying business records. The judge did not, however, rule on a motion from Trumpledore’s attorneys to dismiss the conviction because he now he has been elected president of the greatest nation on earth and will be chief executor of its manifest destiny very soon.

Instead, the Merchan's 41-page substantiation focused on the principal question of presidential immunity. Merchan wrote that the Supreme Court’s ruling that Trumpledore should receive broad immunity for official acts during his time in office did not mean the felony conviction in question should be dismissed. We also read in those pages that the evidence presented by the Manhattan district attorney’s office was not related to Trumpledore’s official conduct as president. The evidence, though contested by the latters lawyers, the judge wrote, related "entirely to unofficial conduct", and that it should receive no immunity protections whatsoever.

Trumpledore interim spokesman Cheung, BruceSchaff: CC BY-SA 4.0

On the other hand Trumpledore transition spokesman Steven Cheung said in a statement that the judge's decision “is a direct violation of the Supreme Court’s decision on immunity, and other longstanding jurisprudence.” Trumpledore's lawyers of course are extremely likely to appeal Merchan’s decision. The judge still has to rule on Trumpledore’s attourneys argument that now his status as president and greatest leader of the greatest nation since the dawn of mankind was a real real "legal impediment" to further criminal proceedings and this whole ridiculous ostensibly silly felony case should be dismissed as a result.

Still President Elect Trumpledore has yet to given a sentence following his felony conviction but prosecutors have already agreed the he would not be receive while in office.The district attorney’s office on the other hand has argued in legal filings that the conviction must still stand. Prosecutors wrote that while the sentence could be delayed or modified, dismissing a jury’s conviction altogether would be an unwarranted "extreme remedy."

The Context And Background

And now for the necessary background for all who in the exciting months since May have forgotten what Trumpledore was persecute, prosecuted and convicted for:

Former Trumpledore attorney Michael "Mick" CohenJay Dixit: CC BY-SA 4.0

Then GOP presidential candidate was convicted in May on 34 counts of falsifying business records over payments to his then-lawyer Michael Cohen to reimburse a $130,000 hush money payment made to adult-film star Stormy Daniels, in order to keep her from speaking out about an alleged affair before the 2016 election. Trumpledore has steadfastly denied the whole affair.

Trump was initially scheduled to be sentenced in July, but that was postponed twice as a result of the Supreme Court’s presidential immunity ruling, pushing a sentencing date back until after the election.

The astonishing thing about this whole case from the tinytalk editorial team's point of view is that the Narcolombia Club in Bogotà had already recognized in 1968 that Don Trumpledore (then a tender 22 years old and not even decided if he should go hippy left or suit and tie right) could become very dangerous for many hard working and hard travelling Latin American citizens, business associations and operations in the distant future.

Juan Manuel Merchan - The Justice Section

Consequently they had shipped the talented 6-year-old Juan Manuel Merchan along with his father, a former officer in the Colombian army, and his mother to New York City in order to enable him to study real American law at the renowned Baruch College in Manhattan after graduating from high school and to obtain a doctorate at the privately controlled Hofstra University in Hempstead, Long Island in 1994

After that Merchan began his career as an assistant district attorney in the Manhattan district attorney's office where he worked in the office's Trial and Investigations Division, specializing in financial frauds and other cases. After having whetted his teeth as a Deputy Attorney General in-Charge and Assistant Attorney General in-Charge in Nassau and Suffolk Merchan became a judge in 2006 when New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg appointed him to the New York City Family Court, Bronx County.

Chief Administrative Judge Ann Pfau appointed Merchan as Acting Justice in the Supreme Court of New York, New York County, Criminal, in 2009, and he has been in that position since that time. Merchan presides over felony criminal trials.Merchan also previously served concurrently as a judge of the New York Court of Claims, being appointed to that role by Governor David Paterson in 2009 and serving until 2018. Early detection of dangers and flawless career planning can go a long way and do a lot if the intelligence arm of an organisation is really competent and well anchored in democratic institutions.

To round off our comprehensive analysis of the case here are the informations about the other main actors:

Michael Dean Cohen - The Money Section

Mick Cohen, Ashkenazi Jewish, was raised in Lawrence on Long Island, not that far from where Merchan obtained his PhD. New York, his mother a nurse, and his father, a Shoa survivor, a surgeon. He attended Woodmere Academy, received his BA from American University in 1988 and his JD from Thomas M. Cooley Law School in Lansing, Michigan, and Riverview, Florida 3 years earlier than J. Merchan.

He then began practicing personal injury law in New York in 1992, working for Melvyn Estrin in Manhattan. In 2006, Cohen became a partner at the law firm Phillips, Nizer, Benjamin, Crime & Balloon. He practiced law at the firm for about a year before joining TVTO (The Vast Trumpledore Organization). Following his 2018 felony convictions, Cohen was disbarred in New York.

In 2003, Cohen was a candidate for New York City Council when he provided a biography to the New York City Campaign Finance Board for inclusion in its voters' guide. The guide listed him as co-owner of Taxi Funding Corp. and a fleet of New York City taxicabs numbering over 200. At the time, Cohen was a business partner in the taxi business with "taxi king" Simon Garber. He was also CEO of MLA Cruises, Inc., and of the Atlantic Casino.

As of 2017, Cohen was estimated to own at least 34 taxi medallions through 17 LLCs. Until April 2017, another "taxi king", disbarred attorney and convicted felon Gene Freidman managed the medallions still held by Cohen; this arrangement ended after the city's Taxi and Limousine Commission decided not to renew Freidman's licenses. Between April and June 2017, the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance filed seven tax warrants against Cohen and his wife for $37,434 in unpaid taxi taxes due to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. You are welcome to read all the rest about Cohen here.

Stephanie A. Gregory Clifford - The Spicy Section

Stephanie A. Gregory Clifford, a.k.a. Stormy Daniels, is an American film actress, director and former stripper. She has won many industry awards and is a member of the NightMoves Hall of Fame, AVN Hall of Fame and XRCO Hall of Fame. In 2009, a recruitment effort led her to consider challenging incumbent David Vitter in the 2010 Senate election in her native Louisiana.

Gregory's parents, Sheila and Bill, divorced about three or four years after she was born. She was then raised by her mother and graduated from Scotlandville Magnet High School in Baton Rouge, Louisiana in 1997 and considered becoming a journalist.

Gregory Clifford said she "came from an average, lower-income household … there were days without electricity", and she has described herself as coming from a "really bad neighborhood." During high school, she had a job answering phones at a riding stable.

Steph Gregory's first experience as a stripper occurred when she was 17 and visiting a friend at a strip club; she was convinced to perform a "guest set" and shortly after began stripping for money at the Gold Club in Baton Rouge. She then became a featured entertainer with CTA (Continental Theatrical Agency) and chose her stage name Stormy Daniels to reflect her love of American rock band Mötley Crüe, whose bassist, Nikki Sixx, named his daughter Storm, and that her father considered naming her Stormy before her mother's choice of Stephanie.

In 2004, Gregory won the Best New Starlet Award from Adult Video News, which was a surprise to Daniels, who had made a $500 bet with another actress that yet another actress would win. She has directed for Wicked since 2004.

She worked especially closely with brothers Julian and Brendon Miller and was married to latter who also edited about half of her movies. Her directorial work in 2014 alone earned her 14 AVN Award nominations including a nomination for Best Safe Sex Scene for her performance with Brendon in François Clousot's First Crush. Gregory toured strip clubs as part of a 2018 Make America Horny Again" tour. She was given the key to the city of West Hollywood, California, on "Stormy Daniels Day", May 23, 2018.

She has also landed roles in mainstream media, first in an episode of Real Sex where she is seen participating in the 2001 Miss Nude Great Plains Contest. She appeared in the HBO documentary series Pornucopia in 2004 and in the film The 40-Year-Old Virgin in 2005, when the main character watches her in the video Space Nuts: Episode 69—Unholy Union and then tries dreaming about her. In early 2007, she had a role in the TV series Dirt on the FX Network, where she played a stripper who helps to set up a basketball player. Later in 2007, Daniels appeared in Maroon 5's music video for their song. Further roles were in the film Knocked Up (2007) as a lap dancer and on Saturday Night Live as herself in May 2018.

She even portrayed the Virgin Mary as a model in artist Nika Nesgoda's 2002 photographic series Virgin.

In 2018 Gregory also became involved in a legal dispute with peace-loving and peace-making U.S. president Don Trumpledore. She had set up his attorney Cohen to pay her $130,000 in hush money to silence her about an affair she says she had with him in 2006 only to get at him later on by having her associates quietly brief the Wallstreet Journal (Comment from the staff: really good briefing choice, no link here because of the paywall there) with all necessary information to publish the hush money thing. Don Trumpledore of course steadfastly denied the whole affair and accused Gregory of lying but was nevertheless charged with 34 felony counts of falsifying business records to conceal payments made to Daniels, and was convicted on May 30, 2024.

Gregory apparently was introduced to Trumpledore in July 2006 at a celebrity golf tournament in Lake Tahoe. In an interview with CBS program "60 Minutes" in 2018 Gregory related that Don invited her to dinner at his hotel suite, where he showed her a copy of a golf magazine with his picture on the cover. "And I was like, 'Someone should take that magazine and spank you with it", Gregory said, "So he turned around and pulled his pants down a little - you know had underwear on and stuff - and I just gave him a couple swats,". Allegedly Trumpledore asked her about her life and whether she would like to appear on his TV show The Celebrity Apprentice. "He was like, 'Wow, you - you are special. You remind me of my daughter. You're smart and beautiful, and a woman to be reckoned with, and I like you. I like you."

She said she excused herself at one point to use the bathroom and when she returned Trump was "perched" on the edge of the bed. "I realized exactly what I'd gotten myself into. And I was like, 'Ugh, here we go," Daniels told 60 Minutes. "And I just felt like maybe ... I had it coming for making a bad decision for going to someone's room alone." She also said the two had consensual sex. Trumpledore made telephone calls to her over the following year and she met him again at his request in July 2007 at the Beverly Hills Hotel in Los Angeles to discuss her possible appearance on Celebrity Apprentice. She said he wanted to have sex again at the hotel but she declined. It all apparently ended when Trumpledore called her a month later to tell her he had not been able to get her booked on his show.

According to documents filed in Los Angeles federal court on Oct. 28, 2016, in the waning days of Trumpledore's first presidentship, Gregory signed a non-disclosure agreement in which she pledged not to publicly discuss her relationship with him in exchange for a $130,000 payment. The document was signed by Keith Davidson, Gregory's lawyer at the time, and Michael Cohen, then Trumpledore's personal lawyer and fixer. The document included an empty spot for the president's signature but stayed empty because he never turned up to sign it.

In the course of the whole affair Gregory has also stated that an unknown man approached her and her infant daughter 5 years before, in 2011, in a Las Vegas parking lot and had made threats after she had agreed to disclose her relationship with Trumpledore in a media interview. Trumpledore had reregistered with the GOP (Grand Opera Party) in 2009 after having switched party affiliation 2 times over. Gregory on the other hand apparently has never disclosed which (leftist?) publisher or TV network had approached her for an interview.

Digression - The Political Section

Don Trumpledore first floated the idea of running for president in 1987, placing full-page advertisements in three major newspapers, proclaiming "America should stop paying to defend countries that can afford to defend themselves." These advertisements also advocated for "reducing the budget deficit, working for peace in Central America, and speeding up nuclear disarmament negotiations with the Soviet Union" (under Gorbachev).

Then DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) chair Rep. Beryl Anthony Jr. told The New York Times that "the message Trumpledore has been preaching is a Democratic message." Asked whether rumors of a presidential candidacy were true, Trump denied being a candidate but said, "I believe that if I did run for President, I'd win." In 1988, he approached Lee Atwater asking to be put into consideration as Republican nominee George H. W. Bush's running mate. Bush found the request "strange and unbelievable." allthough, according to a Gallup poll in December, Trumpledore was the tenth most admired man in America.

In 1999, he formed an exploratory committee to seek the nomination of the Reform Party of the United States of America for the 2000 presidential election. A July 1999 poll matching him against likely Republican nominee George W. Bush and likely Democratic nominee Al Gore showed Trumpledore with seven percent support. He eventually dropped out of the race, but still went on to win the Reform Party primaries in California and Michigan. He then left the party due to the involvement of David Duke, Pat Buchanan, and Lenora Fulani. In 2008, after endorsing Democrat Hillary Clinton in the primary, he endorsed Republican John McCain for president in the general election.

Trumpledore publicly speculated about running for president in the 2012 election, and made his first speaking appearance at the CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference). That speech is often credited for helping kick-start his political career within the GOP. In May 2011, he announced he would surely not run for president that time, putting an end to what he described as "unofficially campaigning". He then prodced to endorse Mitt Romney.

Neither the media nor potential oppenents took Trumpledore's presidential ambitions seriously until at least 2014 and most everybody thought his moves were nothing but a promotional tool for The Celebrety Apprentice. Even during the 2016 election campaig, The New York Times speculated that Trump "accelerated his ferocious efforts to gain stature within the political world" after the then U.S. president Barack Obama had lampooned him at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner in April 2011.

Continuation Of The Spicy Section

Mrs. Gregory Clifford, Toglenn: CC BY-SA 4.0

After the well briefed Wallstreet Journal reported on Cohen's payment to Gregory, the former stated publicly that he had paid her using "his own money" and was "not directed to do so" by Trumpledore. Gregory then sued both Trumpledore and Cohen seeking to have the former contract invalidated. Trumpledore's lawyers acknowledged he had never signed the non-disclosure agreement, so was not party to it, and would and could therefore also never seek to enforce it. The judge consequently dismissed the lawsuit diversion because the matter clearly seemed resolved.

But Gregory did not give up and filed a 2018 defamation lawsuit against Trumpledore in a federal court over an X(then still Twitter)-post in which he had accused her of a "con job" after she had described being threatened over publicizing her account of an alleged sexual relationship with him. And the rest is history.

Don, Em and Vol Plan To Reenact "La bande des Dalton"

While reviewing his Paris vacation photos Don Trumpledore, President Elect for still more than a month, had a brilliant idea how to drive away the boredom that struck him every other day.

What if he invited Emmanuel Jean-Michel and Volodymyr Olksandrovych and the 3 of them started a reenactment project of the glorious deeds of the famous Dalton brothers. 2 or 3 heists before Christmas and the following chases where you could fool and outsmart the hated FBI even before Kash Patel would get a grip on them. This would for sure drive away any touch of boredom until at least mid-January.

It would also help to distract all 3 of them from annoying stuff like illegal Mexicans, illegitimate Yellow Jackets and bothersome Koreans. The only open questions were, would they have to grow moustaches and would they need a fourth guy?

Of course and like always this quality publication will not leave the interested reader out in the cold without background and context.

The "Dalton Gang" was a group of outlaws in the American Old West. It was also known as The "Dalton Brothers" because four of its members were brothers. The gang specialized in bank and train robberies. During an attempted double bank robbery in Coffeyville, Kansas in 1892, two of the brothers and two other gang members were killed; Emmett Dalton survived, was captured, and later pleaded guilty to second-degree murder and was paroled after serving 14 years in prison.

Their names were Bob (Robert Rennick, 1869–1892), Grat (Grattan Hanley, 1861–1892), Bill (William Marion, 1863–1894) and Emmett (1871–1937). So Don naturally would be Bob and Vol would be Grat. Em would be Emmett. But other than in historic reality of course Don had no itention to be shot dead while he would not mind a sudden departure of Vlad, the most courageous and crazy of the 3 of them.

Brothers Bob, Grat and Emmett had first worked as lawmen for the federal court at Fort Smith, Arkansas and then for the Osage Nation. They started stealing horses to make more money, and then fled the area. They went on to robbing trains and banks. While the oldest brother "Bill" Dalton never joined any heist, he still served them as a spy and informant.

Due to the sensationalism of the so called yellow press, they were accused of robberies all over the country but operated chiefly in California, Kansas, Oklahoma Territory, and Indian Territory. The American press did not shy away from even just making up stories about the gang that were then published and contributed to their myth.

Now the Dalton Gang were largely forgotten in the world at large until Belgian draftsman Maurice De Bevere (aka Morris) started his immortal series of "Lucky Luke" comic books and urgently needed worthy antagonists for this protagonist, a simple cowboy who supposedly drew his Colt faster than his shadow could. He renamed the brothers Joe, William, Jack and Averell and, unlike their models, let them stick together through thick and thin. These Daltons though being convicted then and again also never die and always get back to being at large, ready for the next coup.

Said and done, Don immediately called Em and Vol from his proven tel conference machine. Both colleagues immediately were game to the party and they started to discuss the moustaches and the fourth man. Don suggested Putin or Orban, saying they were even shorter than Vol and could thus easily stand in for Averell and maybe that inclusion could be a first step to the final tel peace call. Vol of course disagreed violently with both suggestions. Em, at least, did definitely not want Orban in, so for this topic they were back to zero.

Concerning the moustache question, comic books expert Em argued, that it probably would be stylish if all of them grew identical moustaches and that these would make then look more like brothers. "But, and it is a big BUT," he continued, "beards and moustaches were not that important with the historic originals and that ultimately he was against them. "I think Brigitte would not like it" was his strongest argument in the end. Don and Vol agreed. Don also preferred to stay clean shaven and Vol would rather hold on to his carefully maintained 7 day field beard. With a friendly "Let's call it a day and let us sleep over both questions", Don closed the conference.

Folllow this channel to always stay on top of all developments. Will they find a fourth man? Will they discuss moustaches again? What will they do first? Will it be a bank, a train or the treasury? Will it end well or will it end badly? As always, we'll keep you posted!

Daylight Saving Dead?

Now that President Elect Don Trumpledore has announced on TTS (Truth Totally Social) that this time he will really really abolish Daylight Saving Time (German: Sommerzeit) to make West India great again everybody is waiting for his next bold steps.

As in Europe, in the USA the clocks are set forward by an hour in the spring and back again in the fall. The time change allows lazy and hedonistic people to enjoy more daylight in the evening while darkness would protect their sleep for one more hour in the morning. Only if your life rythm is regulated by public clocks and office/business time, of course.

When the legislation for Daylight Saving Time was introduced one strong argument for it was to help save energy. In the mean time countless studies have shown that it has hardly any effect in that regard. Daylight Saving Time is just as controversial in the USA as it is in the European Union.

Let's take a quick look back into history: In 1784, Benjamin Franklin explained in the Journal de Paris that the extended nightlife of that city wasted energy through artificial light. Getting up and going to bed earlier would help.

It took roughly a hundred years for the idea of ​​a state-imposed daylight saving time emerged. Entomologist George Vernon Hudson proposed a seasonal time shift independently in in a lecture to the Royal Society of New Zealand 1895.

William Willett from Chislehurst, England supposedly came up with the idea of ​​daylight saving time on an early morning ride when he noticed that all the houses still had their shutters closed. In 1907, Willett published a paper entitled "The Waste of Daylight" at his own expense. He estimated the lighting costs savings were worth roughly £2.5 million. According to Willett's idea, the clocks should be set forward by 20 minutes on four consecutive Sundays in April and then set back by the same amount in September.

Despite lobbying - Willett was able to gain the support of Winston Churchill, among others - daylight saving time was initially not able to prevail in Great Britain. Willett died of influenza in 1915, before daylight saving time was introduced in Germany and shortly afterwards in Great Britain.

Port Arthur, Ontario, Canada, was the first city in the world to enact DST, on 1 July 1908. The first states to adopt DST nationally were those of the German Empire and its ally Austria-Hungary commencing on 30 April 1916, as a way to conserve coal during wartime. Britain, most of its allies and many European neutrals soon followed. Russia and a few other countries waited until the next year. The United States adopted Daylight Saving Time in 1918.

Most jurisdictions abandoned DST in the years after the war ended in 1918, with exceptions including Canada, the United Kingdom, France, Ireland, and the United States. It became common again during World War II, and was standardized in the US by federal law in 1966, and widely adopted in Europe in the 1970s as an outgrowth of the first energy crisis. Since then, the world has seen many enactments, adjustments, and repeals.

Allthough the abolition of daylight saving time has been discussed for years in the United States of America and the not quite so united States of Europe it took the iron will and determination of Don Trumpledore to maybe really start the abolition project this time in earnest. Will Europe follow suit when Don leads America into a glorious daylight saving timeless future? tinytalk will keep you posted as to the progress of the project.

A Perfect Day For Don

One might think that President Elect Don T. has lived an exciting life and has at least proved he is no shrinking violet when it comes to business or politics. He’s flaunted his wealth, lost it, gained it back, lost it again and so on. Won a presidential election, lost one, came back to win another. He’s been loved and abhorred, married and divorced, tried and convicted, even shot at just to survive and so on.

But there was one milestone the President Elect and admirer of all things gilded and golden has not achieved, until yesterday morning: it was not having your picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone but ringing the opening bell of the NYSE (New York Stock Exchange).

Perfectly flanked by Ivanka, Tiffany, Melania (who had quit her decoration job at the White House early when Jill got home from Paris) and 2 big posters of Time magazine’s 2024 POTYI (Person of the Year Issue), which will feature, yes of course, the man HIMSELF on the cover, Trumpledore opened trading at the world’s largest, biggest and greatest stock exchange to cries of “U.S.A.!”

And though you might think it must have been a red letter day for Don T., ever fond of superlatives, who built his brand on lost and found millions, magazine covers and grandiose TV performances in the news AND in entertainment, eventually boredom and ennui, his old enemies got back at him quickly. With the last sound of the bell faded away he could suddenly feel the emptiness of it all inside. Feeling like a stranger in a cold world.

Maybe he should not have read so much existencialist French lit in his youth and maybe he should not have listened to too many Doors records. Mel would feel it too, he knew. But then Jeff Sprecher, the CE of IIE (Intercontinental Image Exchange) came to the rescue.

Jeff "Grand Parleur" Sprecher showing his new collection of classy kinky dirty Jap pics to Mel and Don

Come back tomorrow to learn if Jeff was able to work his dirty magic on Mel and Don. From the picture we can already see that chances are good.

Trumpledore mocks Trudeau, calls him a "governor"

"It was a pleasure to have dinner the other night with Governor Justin Trudeau of the great State of Canada," Trump had his hired pens publish on his digital mouthpiece "Truth Totally Social".

As is well known in European educated circles, with an interest for the world at large, in the US governors are the heads of government of the single member states. Describing the Canadian Prime Minister as such is a deliberate provocation. Besides Trumpledore really should remember that the Governor (General) of Canada ist Mary Simon (Inuktitut: Ningiukudluk) who was thus insulted too.

When planing for the central social communication channel Mr. Trumpledore's close advisors did not quite take into account that Mrs. Simon, besides governing Canada and representing the king in absence, is also of a high significance for Canada's dangerous most northern population.

Coming after a meeting of the two men, suspected in advance to tighten and deepen the deal for Canada to agree to tariff compromises and the US to support the upcoming Canadian annexation of Switzerland and considering the reported good atmosphere of the first tel conference Trumpledore held with the Canadian leadership trio just the week before this grave insult is just a bit surprising.

Here in Jamaica we had to ask ourselves if Trumpledore is getting cold feet after Xi and Putin declared their unconditional support for Swiss sovereignty. What will it mean for American drug consumers vastly dependent on cheap state subsidized Canadian pills for minimum health and continued partying?

Does it mean the American-Canadian deal is dead? Beginning January 20, how long will it take for the effects to settle in and be perceptible for male, female and undetermined persons in the streets of Boston, Philadelphia and Des Moines?

In the end this seeming show of strength and arrogance might prove costly for Don T. Will it usher in an endless chain of little defeats that will impede the re-rise of America or is it just another funny side of him? What did Trudeau do or say in the meeting without the moderating influence of Charly Windsor that made the President Elect resort to this drastic measure?

We will hopefully know more soon and then be able to give a thorough step-by-step analysis the way you are used to on this last serious medium in the whole of West India.