A Perfect Day For Don

One might think that President Elect Don T. has lived an exciting life and has at least proved he is no shrinking violet when it comes to business or politics. He’s flaunted his wealth, lost it, gained it back, lost it again and so on. Won a presidential election, lost one, came back to win another. He’s been loved and abhorred, married and divorced, tried and convicted, even shot at just to survive and so on.

But there was one milestone the President Elect and admirer of all things gilded and golden has not achieved, until yesterday morning: it was not having your picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone but ringing the opening bell of the NYSE (New York Stock Exchange).

Perfectly flanked by Ivanka, Tiffany, Melania (who had quit her decoration job at the White House early when Jill got home from Paris) and 2 big posters of Time magazine’s 2024 POTYI (Person of the Year Issue), which will feature, yes of course, the man HIMSELF on the cover, Trumpledore opened trading at the world’s largest, biggest and greatest stock exchange to cries of “U.S.A.!”

And though you might think it must have been a red letter day for Don T., ever fond of superlatives, who built his brand on lost and found millions, magazine covers and grandiose TV performances in the news AND in entertainment, eventually boredom and ennui, his old enemies got back at him quickly. With the last sound of the bell faded away he could suddenly feel the emptiness of it all inside. Feeling like a stranger in a cold world.

Maybe he should not have read so much existencialist French lit in his youth and maybe he should not have listened to too many Doors records. Mel would feel it too, he knew. But then Jeff Sprecher, the CE of IIE (Intercontinental Image Exchange) came to the rescue.

Jeff "Grand Parleur" Sprecher showing his new collection of classy kinky dirty Jap pics to Mel and Don

Come back tomorrow to learn if Jeff was able to work his dirty magic on Mel and Don. From the picture we can already see that chances are good.

Jeff B. and Marc Z. About To Solve BOGU Crisis

According to informed circles Jeff B. and Marc Z., two of the most notorious professional media influencers on a great many things, materials and attitudes met twice yesterday to discuss possible optimizations of their respective BOGU (Bend Over And Grease Up) tactical operations for fiscal years 2025 to 2028.

While Jeff B. already had ordered his flagship periodical, the Washington Postillion, to caution, Marc Z. had been just a bit less foresighted. Be that as it may, with R.E.V.E.N.G.E now looming big on the horizon, the need to optimize ass-kissing efficiency to protect their shareholders and key employees has become paramount.

Not known for always having been the best of friends in the past both men nevertheless swallowed their pride and unanimously declared that in times of danger differences had to be layed aside and mutual support through the exchange of the best tips and tricks was more necessary than ever to strengthen oneself and one's extended "family".

Both said it was even more important now when both groups have already appeared on the endangered species lists of various NGOs such as VB-ECPP (Viennese Branch of European Christian Pop Party) in Austria, CFCC-ASAP (Circle of Friends for a Christian Chancellorship As Soon As Possible) in Germany and EEW-CNTW (Endangered Entrepeneur Welfare of California, Nevada, Texas and Washington) in the US.

Both men said the talks where constructive and informative and they had good reasons to be confident about the successful acquisition of the necessary amounts of grease and a flawless execution of a "very high percentage" of future moves on the matter.

"I was not invited to the Trumpledore dinner when even chief philistine Cook was, so I'm gonna dine with him alone", Marc Z. remarked while leaving the venue of the meeting, "and I am not going to wear a tie or maybe I even will." We could not see Jeff B.'s face so we can't tell you if he appreciated that plan or not.

Was soll man sagen?

Über das Interesse der österreichischen Bundesregierung für die Angelegenheiten europäischer Regulierung der "digitalen Märkte" und der "digitalen Dienste".

Twelve And Eighteen Years Ago

Come with us and take a look at the Internet euphoria and idiocies of the turn of the millenium.

Here is the Cluetrain Manifesto, published in 1999 to the web and in 2000 as a book of essays.

There you will find the English Wikipedia article on the Manifesto.

We also provide you with a link to the rather short and dry German Wikipedia article.

And finally, this is what the TinyTalk scientific department had to say, confirm and amend in 2000, 2001 and 2006 in its analysis of the first nine of the ninety-five theses of the manifesto. We proudly stand by these results in 2018. Amen.

These are the 4 gurus in their later years, still grinning and proud of their youthful nonsense.

Ermutigt

Scheint so, als ob die Aufweichung der Netzneutralität die deutsche Telekom bereits ermutigt hat, auf Festnetz-Einkaufstour zu gehen.

Vielleicht war's aber auch nur die allgemein gute Einkaufsstimmung zu Weihnachten. Man gönnt sich ja sonst nix.