Trumpledore About To Buy Greenland And The Panama Canal

For the time Greenland with its approximately 56,000 inhabitants is largely autonomous inside the Danish parliamentary constitutional monarchy. The Panama Canal on the other hand is an artificial waterway approximately 82 km long with locks and a crest height of 26 m, which cuts through the Isthmus of Panama in Central America, connecting the Atlantic with the Pacific for shipping in the presidential republic of Panama.

President Elect Don Trumpledore wants to incorporate Greenland and the Panama canal into the USA. "In the interest of national security and freedom in the world, the USA believes that ownership and control of Greenland is an absolute necessity," Trump wrote on TTCP (Truth Totally Social Platform) on Sunday evening.

The day before Trumpledore had threatened Panama with taking back control of the Panama Canal. "The fees demanded by Panama are ridiculous, especially since the USA has shown Panama extraordinary generosity," Trumpledore had written on TTCP, only to continue with "The rip-off of my country must stop immediately".

"We are not for sale"

King Frederik X (Frederik André Henrik Christian Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg), Danish PM Mette Frederiksen K.1, High Commissioner Julie Præst Wilche, Prime Minister Múte Bourup Egede and Mimi Karlsen, Speaker of the Inatsisartut for once are of one opinion in the matter and even agreed to make Egede the speaker in the case: "Greenland belongs to us. We are not for sale and will never be for sale. We must not lose our long struggle for freedom."

On a different note Aaja Chemnitz, a Greenlandic member of the Danish parliament said that "We are open for business". Her party Inuit Ataqatigiit represents the opinion that greater American involvement in Greenland, especially in the areas of education and economic development would be desirable.

The huge island with its approximately 56,000 inhabitants is largely autonomous inside the Danish parliamentary constitutional monarchy. Due to its location in the Arctic, its proximity to the US AND Russia, the suspected mineral resources there and an important US military base, the island is not only strategically important but could hold business opportunities galore in a time when the 733,391 inhabitants of US's other arctic territory Alaska, bought from Tsar Alexander II, the Emperor of the Russian Empire, King of Poland and Grand Duke of Finland in 1867.

Greenland is about six times the size of Germany and still a quarter bigger than Alaska and 15% bigger than the Canada's Nunavut. Strategically it would provide the GAA (Great Again America) with a fine bracket around the ambitious Canucks.

There was initially no reaction from Denmark, to which the world's largest autonomous island belongs politically. Trumpledore had already proposed buying Greenland during his first term in office. The response from Denmark at the time was clearly negative. It seems Frederik is no Alexander. Most probably not in financial hardship, a bit more power-conscious and with larger support from the natives who's majority likes the Americans but abhorrs fracking machines and other large, loud and stinking devices.

"Public Enemy"

Trumpledore's plans and announcements were also not met with friendly welcome in Panama. There were protests in the city of Panama yesterday. His picture was demonstratively burned in front of the US embassy. Demonstrators carried banners reading "Don Trumpledore, Panama's Public Enemy".

The USofA built the Panama Canal from 1905 to 1914 after having conquered the territory from Narcolombia in 1903 and declared the independent state of Panama. They also kept it as their property December 31, 1999, at 12 noon. In 1977, US President Jimmy Carter negotiated the Torrijos-Carter Accords with General Omar Torrijos (then military ruler of Panama), according to which the canal was to be returned to Panama by the year 2000, which then happened according to the treaties. Since then, the canal has been administered by the Panama Canal Authority (Spanish: Autoridad del Canal de Panamá - ACP). The authority is autonomous, but its board is appointed by the Panamanian president.

On July 15, 2013, the authority stopped a ship that was supposed to transport two containers of (presumably) missile equipment from Cuba to North Korea - hidden under sacks of sugar. Panama's 2013 President Martinelli stated: "You cannot simply transport undeclared weapons through the Panama Canal. The Panama Canal is a canal of peace, not of war." Future President Trumpledore will in principle agree, but would still be hoping to lower US and friendly countries' shipping fees and to drastically raise them for enemies like the Narcolombians and rogue neighbors like the Mexicans and Canadians.

It seems to us that after a glorious start already the first signs of "sand in the gears" of Trumpledore's machinery that seemed so well oiled this time are starting to appear. Will it be necessary to send the Marines once more? Stay informed and on top of things with tinytalk plc and the Tinytalk Charitable Trust! Visit our shop were you can buy fantastic books and brochures about how to become happy and get strategic advice how to win everytime and everywhere.