The solution (to letting your nos flow) is to use what might be called a natural No.

A natural No is simple and straightforward. It flows naturally an almost effortlessly from your Yes. I remember hearing natural Nos from my daughter Gabriela when she was small. "No" would just roll of her tongue as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "No, I don't want to talk right now, Papo. I'm playing. Can I go now?" I would be five thousand miles away in a jungle, having trumped miles to find a phone to talk to her and having tried the line a half dozen times, but I always found myself utterly disarmed because her No was so natural. It was transparent, untamed by fear, unspoiled by anger. It was honest, clean, and matter-of-fact.

Nos get more difficult to say as we get older and our emotions and motivations become more complex and our sense of consequences more acute. But if you've followed the process this far, the action is, in one sense, already over. You've done the essential preparation work. You are like an athlete who has trained hard. Now, during the race, it is time to reap the rewards of that hard work.

Let your No flow. Let it flow from your Yes you have uncovered. Let it flow from the power you have developed. Let it flow from the respect you have offered. In this way, your No will be clear, committed and clean.
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William Ury, The Power Of A Positive No, NY 2008, p. 127

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